When I was about seven I had an experience with my mom that had a deep impact on me.
We were driving home to Whale Gulch from San Francisco. Somewhere around Novato there were many cars pulled off the freeway and parked on the edge of the embankment. There were at least 50 people standing near their cars looking down at the most horrible site I have ever seen. A car was on fire and there were people thrown from the car and one of them was on fire. EMS had not arrived yet.
I watched my mom jump to action. She grabbed the fire extinguisher that she, of course, kept in the van and without hesitation she ran down the embankment and proceeded to put the fire out.
At that point EMS arrived and it became clear that the family was Spanish speaking and my mom was the only person there that could translate. We went to the hospital with them and Nancy acted as a translator for the family for at least 5 hours.
We had about a 5 hour trip ahead of us to get home, but Nancy did not hesitate to do what was needed at that moment.
What an exemplary role model she was. I was so proud to be her daughter.
She had such an amazing depth of compassion and willingness to help others that still fascinates me to this day.
I often wonder, what gave her that depth of compassion?
She had a lot of tragedy in her life with the loss of her father to cancer when she was 3 and the loss of her mother to suicide when she was 12.
After these types of losses she could have ended up on a path of darkness and destruction, but instead she became the most giving and compassionate person I have ever known. She found a way to believe in herself and she found a path in life that was about being of service to others.
Her father was a biochemist with a brilliant mind and on her mother’s side there was a long line of librarians and brilliant minds. I think Nancy inherited the ability to really analyze a problem and come up with a solution. Whether it was figuring out how to build a deck or how to help someone with a complex health issue, she would not give up on it.
Every day I saw her giving a hand and helping people who were struggling.
If she knew someone was suffering she would keep thinking about them and helping them however she could. She would not give up. She would research every option. She would often wake up at 3:00 am with a solution and would be so excited about it.
She was a true healer in this way.
She instilled in me a desire to lead a life of healing and service which played an important role in my decision to become a doctor.
As hard as the last 3 years of her life were, I feel honored that I got to care for her. During that time my understanding of compassion grew by leaps and bounds.
One of the gifts during that time was that I got to know her better, both through being with her, but also through her connection with all of you. I want to thank you all for connecting with her however you could during that time. That really meant a lot to her and to me.
Despite her condition she did not go to a place of self pity. I did not see her shed one tear for herself after she lost the ability to walk and use the left side of her body. Instead, she would tell me she needed to get back to working at Chautaqua because she was sure there would be a long line of people waiting for a health consult with her. She also would make sure we checked everyday if it was a red flag day, so we could warn people of fire danger.
Nancy made this world a better place with her kindness and compassion. Through her, I was able to find the gifts hidden in tragedy. Another gift I received was the opportunity to experience being a mother. I was not able to have children, but I was able to be a mother to Nancy when she needed it. Before she left I thanked her for being such a wonderful mother and then allowing me to be that for her. What a blessing.
Nancy wasn’t religious, but she was very spiritual. She believed that visualization, loving kindness, positive thoughts and clear intentions could protect and heal. On a practical level this meant every time we left her she would wave her arms around and say “I’m surrounding you with white light and protecting you on your journey.” I believe she is still doing that for all of us.
Her icons were the virgin of guadalupe and wonder woman and I think we all can see the resemblance. She had a little saying posted in her living room that said, “I’m not saying I’m Wonder Woman, but have you ever seen us in the same room together?” Think about it.
The virgin of Guadalupe is a brown-skinned goddess who appeared to a peasant in Mexico. She is a symbol of justice for the poor and marginalized people and she represents unconditional love and protection. When Nancy was 10 years old she crawled on her knees, skin to stone, as she participated in the sacrificial crawl to the Basilica de Guadalupe. As she crawled she held a baby in her arms that belonged to Maria who cared for her. Many years ago Nancy drove home from Mexico with a 5 foot tall wooden sculpture of the Virgin of Guadalupe as her passenger.
Her childhood living in San Miguel de Allende from the age of 8 to 12 instilled in her a deep sense of community and she carried that to Whale Gulch and beyond.
I’ve heard her described as the wondrous woman from Whale Gulch, the spiritual mother of Whale Gulch, the Queen of Whale Gulch, a mother to all, an angel dropped from heaven, OG hippie goddess, a magnificent mountain mama, a true renaissance woman, a shero, a pioneer, an icon of the back to the landers, the go-to trusted adult, and a badass.
She used to love it when the young guys would tell her the only thing missing from her swiss army knife was a chainsaw.
She traveled the world, wished for world peace when she blew out her birthday candles, and carved dragon heads into the ends of the beams in the house she built.
I think she graduated from life with highest honors. She was an absolute community treasure and I grieve not only for my loss but also for the community’s loss.
Every day I aspire to be more like her.
Here is something that I have started to do and I invite you to do it as well.
When faced with a difficult situation where someone needs help I put on my Nancy hat and ask myself what would Nancy do?
This is particularly important when this situation comes up at a very inconvenient time, like when you are tired or hungry or it’s the middle of the night.
Nancy can be our True North when trying to do the right thing.
She chose the name Peregrine because it means pilgrim or traveler. Now Nancy is on the next journey of her travels.
Let’s keep Nancy’s spirit alive by using her memory to compel us to reach out and help others.
Let’s connect with her through joy, just as we did when she was in her body.
Think of the sparkle in her eyes and the giggle in her heart and use that to propel us forward as we make the world a better place.
Tributes to Nancy 